Have you ever seen anyone who has engaged in self-pity? Not a pretty sight. Usually they distort things way out of proportion: They catch no breaks. Life stinks. Everyone is out to get them. Unfortunately, when I engage in self-pity it seems more, well, legitimate.
Yesterday was one of those days that really gets to me. I’m on vacation. The sun is shining. It’s nice out. I should be happy. I’m not. Actually, I’m rather annoyed. Nothing major. Just a lot of minor stuff. A lot of traffic in Kalispell as Beth & I take the grandkids to Costco for lunch. Why did I ever decide to drive down Main Street? At 11:30 AM? What was I thinking? Oh, I wasn’t thinking! I let a driver turn left in front of me. While I was being nice 2 cars took advantage of it to jump in front of me in line and another car cut right in front of me across traffic. We get to Costco and it’s unbelievably crowded. We come home and people are driving 10 mph under the speed limit. Once I get home it gets no better.
There is the front garden that Beth & I weeded barely 2 months ago. After doing so we put some weed-inhibiting Preen on it. (That was a waste of time and money!) Then I put a layer of peat moss on top to keep the moisture in and the weeds out. It didn’t work. Yesterday I looked at it and there were a fair amount of weeds in it. My other gardens were even worse! The lawn needed trimmed so I bought a new lawn trimmer. It ran out of line twice before I finished trimming. Really? It also put a 4" cut on my leg. That hurt. The cover on the pool sank. I fished it out and put in on again. With huge clamps. Didn’t matter. It sank again. So did my heart. Why does everything happen to ME! It seems like yesterday was one long, string of things that didn’t work out right. By late afternoon I was into a full-blown ‘Woe is me’ pity-party! “Lord, I’m really frustrated. Nothing in my life is perfect. Or even close to it. Why don’t You just beam me up right now and save me all the aggravation!”
Well, if you’ve ever had a day like this then you know how it is. It starts with one thing not being the way we want it to be. And then something else happens. Then another thing. Pretty soon it snowballs into this huge mountain of misfortune. Of course, once we begin finding fault there is usually no shortage of things to complain about. After a while even ordinary events become blown way out of proportion. The sky is falling. All of it. Right on us!
As I was involved in my pity party, God spoke to my heart. The prophet Jonah came to mind. Yeah, Jonah, the whale guy. When Jonah finally did make it to Nineveh he told them that God was going to destroy them if they didn’t repent. Then Jonah camped outside the city and waited. Waited for God’s judgment to come upon them. Meanwhile, Jonah made a shelter to protect himself from the intense sun. Then a small vine grew up that provided Jonah with some very welcome shade. But the vine died. A scorching east wind blew. Jonah gave up. In a demonstration of self-pity Jonah finally said to God in chapter 4:8, “It would be better for me to die than to live.” Yep, that’s a pity party all right. I know one when I see one!
What was the cure for Jonah? When God put things into perspective for him. While Jonah was angry about the vine, God was more concerned about 120,000 people in the city of Nineveh who were about to suffer judgment. That puts it in perspective doesn’t it? I mean Jonah’s more concerned about a puny vine than he is about 120,000 people perishing eternally. It’s the same thing with me.
After all my stewing and complaining I began to think. To put things in perspective. OK, so just how bad is my life anyway? Do I have cancer? Am I about to lose my house to foreclosure? Am I unemployed? Is my marriage on the rocks? Am I currently suffering from hunger? Is someone actively trying to kill me? As I began going down the list of things that could be worse, a lot worse in my life, I was humbled. I guess I have a lot of things to be thankful for! Big things. Important things. The reality is that I am a very blessed man. There are millions (maybe even billions of people) who would gladly trade places with me right now.
Wow! That was very humbling. I guess self-pity is pretty bad after all. It is thankless. Joyless. Godless. It maximizes problems. It minimizes blessings. Why do I give in to it then? The only reason I can come up with is because I’m human. My heart gets focused on what’s wrong and not on what’s right. Fortunately, the cycle of self-pity can be broken. By God. He wants to end it and start me on a cycle of praise and thanksgiving instead. Let’s see. How many things do I have to be thankful for in my life? There's.....
Lord, forgive me for those days when I become engrossed in self-pity. Help me to realize how many blessings You have given me. How many things are right in my life. How many things are going well. Help me to gain perspective. Perspective that only Your Word and Your Spirit can give me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Yesterday was one of those days that really gets to me. I’m on vacation. The sun is shining. It’s nice out. I should be happy. I’m not. Actually, I’m rather annoyed. Nothing major. Just a lot of minor stuff. A lot of traffic in Kalispell as Beth & I take the grandkids to Costco for lunch. Why did I ever decide to drive down Main Street? At 11:30 AM? What was I thinking? Oh, I wasn’t thinking! I let a driver turn left in front of me. While I was being nice 2 cars took advantage of it to jump in front of me in line and another car cut right in front of me across traffic. We get to Costco and it’s unbelievably crowded. We come home and people are driving 10 mph under the speed limit. Once I get home it gets no better.
There is the front garden that Beth & I weeded barely 2 months ago. After doing so we put some weed-inhibiting Preen on it. (That was a waste of time and money!) Then I put a layer of peat moss on top to keep the moisture in and the weeds out. It didn’t work. Yesterday I looked at it and there were a fair amount of weeds in it. My other gardens were even worse! The lawn needed trimmed so I bought a new lawn trimmer. It ran out of line twice before I finished trimming. Really? It also put a 4" cut on my leg. That hurt. The cover on the pool sank. I fished it out and put in on again. With huge clamps. Didn’t matter. It sank again. So did my heart. Why does everything happen to ME! It seems like yesterday was one long, string of things that didn’t work out right. By late afternoon I was into a full-blown ‘Woe is me’ pity-party! “Lord, I’m really frustrated. Nothing in my life is perfect. Or even close to it. Why don’t You just beam me up right now and save me all the aggravation!”
Well, if you’ve ever had a day like this then you know how it is. It starts with one thing not being the way we want it to be. And then something else happens. Then another thing. Pretty soon it snowballs into this huge mountain of misfortune. Of course, once we begin finding fault there is usually no shortage of things to complain about. After a while even ordinary events become blown way out of proportion. The sky is falling. All of it. Right on us!
As I was involved in my pity party, God spoke to my heart. The prophet Jonah came to mind. Yeah, Jonah, the whale guy. When Jonah finally did make it to Nineveh he told them that God was going to destroy them if they didn’t repent. Then Jonah camped outside the city and waited. Waited for God’s judgment to come upon them. Meanwhile, Jonah made a shelter to protect himself from the intense sun. Then a small vine grew up that provided Jonah with some very welcome shade. But the vine died. A scorching east wind blew. Jonah gave up. In a demonstration of self-pity Jonah finally said to God in chapter 4:8, “It would be better for me to die than to live.” Yep, that’s a pity party all right. I know one when I see one!
What was the cure for Jonah? When God put things into perspective for him. While Jonah was angry about the vine, God was more concerned about 120,000 people in the city of Nineveh who were about to suffer judgment. That puts it in perspective doesn’t it? I mean Jonah’s more concerned about a puny vine than he is about 120,000 people perishing eternally. It’s the same thing with me.
After all my stewing and complaining I began to think. To put things in perspective. OK, so just how bad is my life anyway? Do I have cancer? Am I about to lose my house to foreclosure? Am I unemployed? Is my marriage on the rocks? Am I currently suffering from hunger? Is someone actively trying to kill me? As I began going down the list of things that could be worse, a lot worse in my life, I was humbled. I guess I have a lot of things to be thankful for! Big things. Important things. The reality is that I am a very blessed man. There are millions (maybe even billions of people) who would gladly trade places with me right now.
Wow! That was very humbling. I guess self-pity is pretty bad after all. It is thankless. Joyless. Godless. It maximizes problems. It minimizes blessings. Why do I give in to it then? The only reason I can come up with is because I’m human. My heart gets focused on what’s wrong and not on what’s right. Fortunately, the cycle of self-pity can be broken. By God. He wants to end it and start me on a cycle of praise and thanksgiving instead. Let’s see. How many things do I have to be thankful for in my life? There's.....
Lord, forgive me for those days when I become engrossed in self-pity. Help me to realize how many blessings You have given me. How many things are right in my life. How many things are going well. Help me to gain perspective. Perspective that only Your Word and Your Spirit can give me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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