The McDonald's Incident - Part III

If you have been following my blog the past several days you know that this mini-series is about how we should respond when we run into people who would use or abuse us in our lives.  How should we react, or advise our children or grandchildren to react when they encounter situations like this?  And most importantly, How would God have us to react?  Today we want to look at what is known as the Escape response.

                    ESCAPE

Let’s face it, not everyone wants to fight.  Or to stand up for themselves.  Some people simply want the situation to go away.  They have no stomach for conflict.  Of any kind.  They just want to live in peace.  To go through life without any problems.  So they avoid problem people.  They go down a different street.  Or to a different school.  Or to a different restaurant.  Or they quit their job.  Or leave their church.  Or get divorced.  In extreme cases they might even commit suicide.  This is the ultimate act of avoidance.

Once again, this response works in some situations.  We no longer run into the person in question.  We no longer see them.  Or hear from them.  We have no contact with them whatsoever.  So there are no longer any issues to be faced.  The problem has been solved.

Unfortunately, this response doesn’t always work.  We think we have successfully taken care of the situation and bam, they magically appear in our lives again!  We run into this person unexpectedly.  In the store.  At the doctor’s office.  At a wedding or a funeral.  At a sporting event.  All of a sudden we are face-to-face with a nemesis.  An old enemy.  A situation that has never been resolved.

There are also times when we simply can’t avoid the other person.  We are married to them.  Or they are a family member.  Or we work with them.  Or go to school with them.  Or they live on the same block.  The cold, hard facts are that in some situations it is not possible for us to avoid this person.  We can’t attend a different school.  Or move.  Or quit our job.  So what do we do then?  Punt.

Then there is the fact that even if we do successfully avoid the person we can still be haunted by them.  We live in fear that we are going to run into them somewhere.  So we don’t go to certain places.  We don’t engage in certain activities.  Because they might be there.  We have dreams and nightmares about this person.  No matter where we go they are always right there.  In our mind.  This is pretty hard to ignore.  And to live with.

Now while the escape approach certainly is the safe choice (little chance for future escalation), it also has some downside to it:  Living in fear.  Thinking that running away will solve all our problems.  Becoming a person whose main goal in life is to avoid conflict.  No doubt all of us feel like running away at times.  Like David in Psalm 55:5-8, we say, “Fear and trembling have beset me, horror has overwhelmed me.  Oh, that I had the wings of a dove!  I would fly away and be at rest.  I would flee far away and stay in the desert; I would hurry to my place of shelter, far from the tempest and storm.”  Certainly running away from our problems, or living in fear of people, is not the way that God would want us to live.  Consider the following Scriptures:
    “When I am afraid, I will call upon the name of the Lord.” Psalm 56:3
    “In God I trust and am not afraid. What can man do to me?”  Psalm 56:11
    “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.”  Deuteronomy 31:6

No, just like the attack response, the escape response isn’t appealing to me either.  I don’t want to always be running from my problems.  Avoiding certain people.  Living my life in fear.  Nor do I want to encourage my children and grandchildren to react this way.  Tomorrow we will look at how God would have us to respond.

Lord, there are times when I am intimidated by others.  When I feel uncomfortable around them.  When I would rather avoid them.  Run away from them.  Stay clear of them.  As much as running away seems so appealing, help me to understand that it is not Your way of dealing with difficult people.  Help me to react the way that You would have me react.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.