The McDonald's Incident - Part II

Yesterday I posted about ‘The McDonald’s Incident’ (sounds like an investigative file, doesn’t it?)  where our 2-year-old grandson Jaydon was being pushed by another boy as he was playing at McDonald's.  This brings up several rather important questions on how to deal with situations like this.  What should we do when we run into people in our lives who would use or abuse us?  Better yet, how should we react or advise our children or grandchildren to react when they encounter situations like this?  Of course, the most  important question is, How would God have us to react?  Ah, as Christians that question always surfaces one way or the other in life, doesn’t it?

The way that I see it, we have basically 3 ways to handle these kinds of situations.  In Peacemaker’s terminology we can attack, escape or try a peacemaking approach.  Today we are going to look at the Attack response.

                                                                    ATTACK 

For some people this is the natural way to handle a situation.  Glare.  Scowl.  Clench your teeth.  Clench your fists.  Fight back.  In Jaydon’s case, push back.  Stand up for yourself.  Don’t let anyone bully you.  The truth is that most of the time if you stand up to a bully they will back down.

The reality is that this approach works in some situations.  We call the other person’s bluff.  They aren’t really looking to get into a fight or a conflict situation, so they back off.  And find another person to intimidate.  When this happens we feel better about ourselves and our sense of strength and self-esteem improves.

Unfortunately, this approach doesn’t always work.  In some cases an attack response only increases the conflict.  We push someone back, and they push us harder.  Now how are we going to respond?  So we push them back harder.  Then they punch us.  Or hit us with an object.  Or get a couple of friends to gang up on us.  Or continue to harass us.  Or destroy our property.  Or take it out on a family member.  We read about these kinds of responses to an attack response every day in the news.  The fact is that we don’t always know where this response is going to lead to.  In some extreme cases, an attack response has resulted in death.

Now while this approach certainly is the macho-one and feels so empowering (revenge almost always feels good), it has some downside to it: Unknown escalation factor (where is it going to stop?).  Thinking anger can cure every problem.  Becoming an angry, aggressive person who takes exception at the slightest offense.  In James 1:20 (a verse I used just a couple of days ago) we are warned that “Human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”  Then there is Romans 12:19 we are also warned, “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath.”  No thanks.  Though it is tempting at times, I really don’t want to react this way.  Nor do I want to encourage my children and grandchildren to react this way.  Most importantly, God doesn't want me to react this way either.  Tomorrow we will look at the Escape response.

Lord, there are times when I get angry with people.  People who abuse me.  Who take advantage of me.  Who pick on me.  Who cheat me.  Who make my life miserable.  As much as I want to at times, help me to see that responding by attacking others, by taking revenge, is not the answer.  Once again, help me to react the way that You would have me react.  In Jesus' name, Amen.