http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Isaiah%2037:10-12&version=NIV
Like other addictions, admitting that one is a control freak is hard to do. You say that you have no desire to control others. Ah, but you do. You just don’t know it. You may not want to control other people whom you don’t know. Or anyone who doesn’t impact your life. But you do want to control those people who do impact your life. A spouse. A child. A boss. A co-worker. An employee. Fill in the blank. The reality is that you want to control anyone who might influence or impact your life. And your plans. This was a stunning realization to me. I never considered myself a control freak. Not in a million years. I just wanted to be free to do my own thing, period. Which means that at some point I have to control others. A neighbor and their barking dog. Or their loud music. A governmental official who raises my taxes. Or who makes laws that I don’t agree with. And that I have no intention of obeying. A fellow coworker and how they dress. Or what they say. Or how they act. No, I really do want to control others. I may not be able to all the time. But I would like to. And I do my best to control them whenever I get the opportunity. And you do, too!
So, where did becoming a control freak come from? Well, how about Genesis 3. Adam & Eve. Yep, one of the first temptations of Satan was for Adam & Eve to take control. How so? Look at verse 5, “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” Not only did Satan put the possibility of Adam & Eve knowing good and evil before them. There was something much more sinister in his temptation. With this knowledge they would be like God. What does that mean? If Adam & Eve had the same knowledge that God had, they wouldn’t need God any longer. They could be independent of Him. They could be in control. They could call their own shots. Make their own rules. Chart their own course. All of this from eating some forbidden fruit. Who knew? Obviously they didn’t.
The fact is, in our sin-filled world it’s either control or be controlled. Why do you think that so many people seek political office and power? Why do they spend all kinds of money, many times much more than the position actually pays, in order to get elected? Or re-elected? Power. And power means control. It means that they get to call the shots. They get to determine the rules. And they get to do whatever they want to do whenever they want to do it. Which is actually the definition of God!
Unfortunately, as is often the case, we really don’t know what it is that we are asking for. Sure, we want to be in control. To be in charge. But at what cost? Do we even think about the cost of being in control? Well, if you’ve ever managed a business, or people, or a ministry, chances are that you know only too well the cost of being in control.
First of all, it takes a lot of energy. You have to be highly motivated to be in control because you have to set the rules that others are going to follow. You have to chart the course. Set the direction. And there are always those individuals who don’t follow the plan. They need to be dealt with. This takes time and energy.
Secondly, you also need to anticipate the future. You need to be able to keep surprises (which are a control freak’s mortal enemy) to an absolute minimum.
Thirdly, being in control is no picnic, despite what it appears to be on the outside. It is very serious work. Control, by its very nature, is totally consuming. There is no let-up. No days off. Control is work. The very worst kind of work. Serious work. It is not fun and games. Far from it.
Fourthly, being in control is unforgiving. Make a mistake, or someone else make a mistake, and you get to own it. Sure, you can take all of the credit when things go right. Whether you deserve it or not. But when things begin to unravel and fall apart, the blame always get kicked upstairs. To the one who is in control. That would be you. And even if you make some pretty good excuses, how many times are others going to buy them? How long will it be before every finger is pointing at you?
Fifthly, being in control is lonely. Very lonely. Remember the old days when you were a child? And King of the Hill? What is the object of the game? To be the only one left standing on the top of the hill. The only one. I call that lonely. You see, control is hard to share. Because once you attempt to share it, you give up some of your control. This goes against the very nature and reason for your being in control in the first place.
So, in the end, being in control really isn’t all that it appears to be. In fact, it is far from it. But, as I wrote yesterday, there is hope. And that hope is in God. The conclusion tomorrow.
Lord, I realize that while I like being in control that I am often unaware of its negative side effects. The consequences. Like so many other things in life, it promises much more than it actually delivers. Which is actually a definition of sin. Again, help me to see control for what it really is. And to avoid being controlled by it. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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