http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Daniel%204:29-30&version=NIV
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+19%3A10-11&version=NIV
There have been a number of realizations that I’ve discovered about myself as I have become older. One of those is that I am a control freak. That’s right, a control freak. I never realized this before. I have known others who were control freaks alright. And I didn’t like them. Talk about obsessive. Compulsive. Suffocating. These are the kind of people who have to control everything. And everyone. Except that I don’t respond well to being controlled. In fact, once I sense that someone is trying to control me, I rebel. Big time. Ain’t no one going to control Mr. Independent! This is why I feel sheepish and hypocritical to admit that I, too, am a control freak. I wonder if there is a support group for this? C.F.A. Control Freaks Anonymous. “Hello, my name is Pastor Jim and I’m a control freak.” So, on what do I base the fact that I am a control freak? On quite a body of evidence actually.
First of all, I like to be prepared. This is not bad, in and of itself. Being prepared is a virtue. It shows that you are responsible. That you care. That you want to do your best. It also shows that you like things just so. All carefully wrapped and packaged. Everything under control.
Secondly, I like to be organized. This is a cousin to being prepared. Organization is another virtue. It shows that you think about things ahead of time. That you are rational. And logical. A place for everything and everything in its place. Do I smell control here?
Thirdly, I don’t like surprises. For my birthday, Christmas? Go ahead, surprise me. Just don’t surprise me on Sunday morning. Don’t surprise me in a Board meeting. Don’t surprise me in something for which I am responsible. Because when you do, well, I don’t feel in control.
Fourthly, I don’t appreciate unconformity. I am a child of the 60's. The last half of the decade was full of unconformity. I didn’t catch it. Unconformity means that you’re not a team player. That you do things your own way. That others never know what you're going to do or say. This means that you’re like a loaded gun. And no one knows when or where you’re going to go off. Very unsettling this unconformity is. It really strains my attempts to control.
There are probably a few other qualities that I can’t think of off the top of my head that apply here as well. The point is that when I am running something, when I am responsible for it, I like to know what’s going on. I want everything to go the way that I planned. And everyone to do what they are supposed to do. When they are supposed to do it. I don’t want any deviations. Or adjustments. Or accidents. Just follow the script and everything will be fine.
Now, in a fantasy world, where we can control all of the variables, you can be a control freak. It actually works. Since it’s your fantasy, everything goes according to your plan. Like a fairy tale, everything works out very nicely. You don’t need a contingency plan. You don’t need a damage-control team. You don’t need to apologize. Or eat humble pie. All you need to do is sit back and enjoy the journey. Well, almost. Most control freaks are constantly worried even when everything is going according to plan. Because you never know when something won’t go according to plan. And then what will you do? Help!!
As I look around me, just about everyone else I know is a control freak as well. How can I tell? Well, for starters, a control freaks gets upset when their plans fail to go according to plan. When someone gets sick. Or the weather doesn’t cooperate. Or something breaks down. Or when others don’t act or respond like they were supposed to. I can tell that a person is a control freak when they get too exact. Too specific. Not only do they want you to do something but they want it done exactly the way that they want it done. No questions. No leeway. No individuality. And Heaven-forbid, no spontaneity! Control freaks also complain a lot. About people. Situations. How bad they have it. How things would be much better if....if they were in control. And control freaks are terribly judgmental of others. No grace for them. They should have said this. They should have done it that way. Why I am the only person on the face of the earth who can do things right!
Unfortunately, not only am I a control freak, there’s a very good chance that, surprise, surprise, you are as well! I know that you’re probably in a state of shock over this. And most likely denial, too! That’s OK. I think that I’m going to let you think about that for a day. Then tomorrow we’ll look at where being a control freak comes from. And what can be done about it. There is help. And that help is in God. Stay tuned.
First of all, I like to be prepared. This is not bad, in and of itself. Being prepared is a virtue. It shows that you are responsible. That you care. That you want to do your best. It also shows that you like things just so. All carefully wrapped and packaged. Everything under control.
Secondly, I like to be organized. This is a cousin to being prepared. Organization is another virtue. It shows that you think about things ahead of time. That you are rational. And logical. A place for everything and everything in its place. Do I smell control here?
Thirdly, I don’t like surprises. For my birthday, Christmas? Go ahead, surprise me. Just don’t surprise me on Sunday morning. Don’t surprise me in a Board meeting. Don’t surprise me in something for which I am responsible. Because when you do, well, I don’t feel in control.
Fourthly, I don’t appreciate unconformity. I am a child of the 60's. The last half of the decade was full of unconformity. I didn’t catch it. Unconformity means that you’re not a team player. That you do things your own way. That others never know what you're going to do or say. This means that you’re like a loaded gun. And no one knows when or where you’re going to go off. Very unsettling this unconformity is. It really strains my attempts to control.
There are probably a few other qualities that I can’t think of off the top of my head that apply here as well. The point is that when I am running something, when I am responsible for it, I like to know what’s going on. I want everything to go the way that I planned. And everyone to do what they are supposed to do. When they are supposed to do it. I don’t want any deviations. Or adjustments. Or accidents. Just follow the script and everything will be fine.
Now, in a fantasy world, where we can control all of the variables, you can be a control freak. It actually works. Since it’s your fantasy, everything goes according to your plan. Like a fairy tale, everything works out very nicely. You don’t need a contingency plan. You don’t need a damage-control team. You don’t need to apologize. Or eat humble pie. All you need to do is sit back and enjoy the journey. Well, almost. Most control freaks are constantly worried even when everything is going according to plan. Because you never know when something won’t go according to plan. And then what will you do? Help!!
As I look around me, just about everyone else I know is a control freak as well. How can I tell? Well, for starters, a control freaks gets upset when their plans fail to go according to plan. When someone gets sick. Or the weather doesn’t cooperate. Or something breaks down. Or when others don’t act or respond like they were supposed to. I can tell that a person is a control freak when they get too exact. Too specific. Not only do they want you to do something but they want it done exactly the way that they want it done. No questions. No leeway. No individuality. And Heaven-forbid, no spontaneity! Control freaks also complain a lot. About people. Situations. How bad they have it. How things would be much better if....if they were in control. And control freaks are terribly judgmental of others. No grace for them. They should have said this. They should have done it that way. Why I am the only person on the face of the earth who can do things right!
Unfortunately, not only am I a control freak, there’s a very good chance that, surprise, surprise, you are as well! I know that you’re probably in a state of shock over this. And most likely denial, too! That’s OK. I think that I’m going to let you think about that for a day. Then tomorrow we’ll look at where being a control freak comes from. And what can be done about it. There is help. And that help is in God. Stay tuned.
Lord, I confess that I am a control freak. I like being in control. Of my life. Of others. Of situations. When I do this I realize that I am attempting to usurp control from You. And that I don’t have the power, knowledge or the character to be in control. Only You do. Help release me from the control of my need to be in control. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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