Yesterday I mentioned how my 4-year-old grandson began to dive to the bottom of our new pool with his goggles on and retrieve some pool toys. (OK, 'dive' is a rather strong word since the water is only 3' deep. But to Brett and me it is diving! Let's call it what it is!) It was really good to see him do that. It took a lot of courage for him to put his head in the water. And to be able to hold his breath. It also brought me to a little mini-crisis. Was I going to grow with him. Or simply be a spectator?
Over the years I have somewhat overcome my deathly fear of water. If you’ve ever had a phobia then you know what it’s like. It gives you nightmares. You keep dreaming of falling over the same cliff. Or getting stuck in the same small space. Or falling into the same lake. You wake up sweaty. Exhausted. When I moved to Kalispell and started fishing more I lost my fear of being around water. I’m still pretty careful but as long as I don’t get in over my waist I’m OK. No more nightmares about water. But I still don’t want to be in it. Over my head. Where my feet can’t touch the bottom.
I figured that someday I would learn how to swim. Once in a while I’ve been with someone out at a lake and have gotten into the water several times. Never without a life jacket. I have tried to learn how to float. I can’t do it. I arch my back as much as I can with my hand on the side of the pool. The water is in my ears and perilously close to my mouth and nose. But I can’t keep my feet up. Relax they tell me. How can you relax when you’re about ready to go under! Anyway I always figured that if I be around water on a regular basis that I would learn how to conquer my fear of water and learn to swim. Gradually, though, as I got older the dream faded. I don’t have to learn how to swim. A lot of people can’t swim. And they live perfectly good lives. Then the pool arrived in our backyard. And my grandson started diving. This caused the mini-crisis. Was I going to learn how to swim or not? The least I could do was to pass that ring pick-up test that I never passed in 3rd grade. The only way to accomplish this was to try.
So, Tuesday night I was in the pool with Becky and Brett. Brett was practicing his new-found diving skills. I looked down at the bottom of the pool. I can do this. It’s not that deep. By the time I put my hand down I only figured I would only have to go about 6 inches to reach the bottom. This is child’s play! Except for my fear of water. That 6 inches might as well be 6' feet. Or 60'. It’s all the same. So I borrowed Charles' small goggles and stared at the bottom of the pool. Just go for it, I thought. But when my head came close to the surface of the water I hesitated. I can’t do this. I don’t want to do this. I really don’t like water in every orifice in my head. Becky just looked over at me and smiled. She understands. She doesn’t like water either. She said something about me waiting until she got her camera. Thanks. That’s all I need is to become a Youtube sensation! In the pitiful, funny, tragic way.
Over the years I have somewhat overcome my deathly fear of water. If you’ve ever had a phobia then you know what it’s like. It gives you nightmares. You keep dreaming of falling over the same cliff. Or getting stuck in the same small space. Or falling into the same lake. You wake up sweaty. Exhausted. When I moved to Kalispell and started fishing more I lost my fear of being around water. I’m still pretty careful but as long as I don’t get in over my waist I’m OK. No more nightmares about water. But I still don’t want to be in it. Over my head. Where my feet can’t touch the bottom.
I figured that someday I would learn how to swim. Once in a while I’ve been with someone out at a lake and have gotten into the water several times. Never without a life jacket. I have tried to learn how to float. I can’t do it. I arch my back as much as I can with my hand on the side of the pool. The water is in my ears and perilously close to my mouth and nose. But I can’t keep my feet up. Relax they tell me. How can you relax when you’re about ready to go under! Anyway I always figured that if I be around water on a regular basis that I would learn how to conquer my fear of water and learn to swim. Gradually, though, as I got older the dream faded. I don’t have to learn how to swim. A lot of people can’t swim. And they live perfectly good lives. Then the pool arrived in our backyard. And my grandson started diving. This caused the mini-crisis. Was I going to learn how to swim or not? The least I could do was to pass that ring pick-up test that I never passed in 3rd grade. The only way to accomplish this was to try.
So, Tuesday night I was in the pool with Becky and Brett. Brett was practicing his new-found diving skills. I looked down at the bottom of the pool. I can do this. It’s not that deep. By the time I put my hand down I only figured I would only have to go about 6 inches to reach the bottom. This is child’s play! Except for my fear of water. That 6 inches might as well be 6' feet. Or 60'. It’s all the same. So I borrowed Charles' small goggles and stared at the bottom of the pool. Just go for it, I thought. But when my head came close to the surface of the water I hesitated. I can’t do this. I don’t want to do this. I really don’t like water in every orifice in my head. Becky just looked over at me and smiled. She understands. She doesn’t like water either. She said something about me waiting until she got her camera. Thanks. That’s all I need is to become a Youtube sensation! In the pitiful, funny, tragic way.
Well, I finally got my face in the water. While plugging my nose. For all of a second. Then I did it several more times. I still don’t think I can do this. It’s psychological. I know that. Well, after what seemed like an eternity my head hit the water. Once my head was under the water I could see the object. Quickly I grabbed it and lifted my head back out of the water. There. I did it! Something I hadn’t been able to do almost 50 years ago. Of course, Brett in his encouraging way said, “Nice job, Pap Pap.” You could tell he was proud of me. I was happy. I felt a sense of achievement. I had faced a fear and conquered a piece of it. Over the next half hour Brett & I both went to the bottom of the pool to fetch some toys. Feeling somewhat emboldened I dove without plugging my nose. It felt funny with water up it but at least I didn’t inhale it. Then I tried a couple times without the goggles. Talk about not being able to see! I still managed to get my toy but it was sort of a hit-or-miss kind of thing. Maybe wearing the goggles isn’t all that bad.
Finally, all of us got out of the pool for the evening. A grandfather-grandson bond was strengthened. We are now fellow-divers. Willing to go where no man has gone before. OK, so it wasn’t that dramatic. But it was fun. It was a milestone. Is there more? Will I eventually be able to learn how to swim? I don’t know. The jury is still out on that one. But I do know that I was able to do something that I didn’t think I would be able to do. The spiritual application on this experience comes tomorrow.
Lord, I thank you for the encouragement of a little child. They can teach us so much if we will only let them. Help me to develop a child-like faith and trust in You. A faith that can move mountains. And conquer fear. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Lord, I thank you for the encouragement of a little child. They can teach us so much if we will only let them. Help me to develop a child-like faith and trust in You. A faith that can move mountains. And conquer fear. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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