In 1974 a TV commercial for Life Cereal was unveiled. It involved 2 young brothers who weren’t sure that they wanted to try a new cereal. So they decided to give it to their youngest brother, 4-year-old Mikey. Mikey, it seems, didn’t like much of anything. Well, Mikey tried the cereal, and to his brother’s surprise, he liked it. In fact, their reply, “He likes it! Hey Mikey!” became an instant hit. The commercial was so successful that it ran for 12 years, becoming one of the longest-running commercials since. You can watch the commercial at the following link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ow5cHJx43i0 I was thinking about that old commercial earlier today.At the end of August I will have been in ministry for 20 years. That’s probably not much of a milestone to many pastors. But it is to me. I had no clue as to whether I would be a good pastor or not. So just surviving has to say something. During this time ministry has been pretty much what I expected it to be. I knew that it involved preaching & teaching. Counseling & administration. And officiating at weddings and funerals. What I didn’t realize was the immensity of the job. That there was so much to do. And I gradually became aware that I wasn’t getting it all done. Each time I would go to District Conference some speaker would talk about the importance of a particular aspect of ministry. “If you’re not discipling your people, you’re not doing your job!” “Reaching the lost is a pastor’s first and most important task.” “You need to be training your people.” “Missions is God’s heartbeat. A pastor needs to be out front leading the charge in this area.” Every time I listened to these guys I would sink a little lower in my seat. “I need to ramp things up and get after it. I’m not even close to doing what I should be doing!” I thought.
Then I would listen to other pastors talk. One pastor would mention how he fasts for days at a time. Every month. Another pastor says that he gets up at 5:30 AM, every morning, and spends 2 hours in prayer and devotions. Another pastor says that he spends time every week out in his community. Wow! I thought I was doing pretty good before all this. I’m not doing any of these things! Then there are the testimonies from pastors who are tearing it up. And the articles that you read. Or maybe the churches right in your own community. Things like: 200 conversions last year. Church attendance doubled. Built a brand new church. Worship musicians that are semi-professional. Finally, there’s the nagging feeling that your District Superintendent isn’t happy with your performance. Oh, he may not say anything negative. At least not to you. But he doesn’t say anything positive either. So what am I supposed to believe. Apparently I’m not doing a good job.
Of course, being a perfectionist doesn’t help matters. Even without all of the stuff above, I am constantly disappointed with my performance. There is so much to do! And all I seem to be able to do is to maintain the status quo. But that isn’t good enough. So I work harder. Smarter. Longer. I’m making a little progress. But nowhere near enough. Then I get discouraged. “Maybe...I’m not cut out for this job.” “Maybe...someone else could do better.” “Maybe...I ought to think about some other line of work.” With pressure and thoughts like this I can’t really say that I have enjoyed ministry. Oh sure, there are moments here and there where I feel successful. But they are few and far between. And this is at a church that treats their pastor well! I have no clue how I would survive in a dysfunctional church. I wouldn’t! They would chew me up and spit me out so fast it’d make my head spin! More on this subject in tomorrow's post.
Lord, I know that I often don't measure up to my own expectations for ministry. And perhaps I don't measure up to the expectations of others either. But this I know - I am being faithful to Your call upon my life. And I will never be able to accomplish anything in ministry except as you enable me. Work through me to accomplish Your will in my life. And in my church. In Jesus' name, Amen.
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